


Safe

by GuineapigQueen



Category: South Park
Genre: Chronic Illness, M/M, Medical Conditions, Organ Failure, Organ Transplantation, Sick Child, Surrogacy, childhood illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-07 16:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20312704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: “Do you miss your kidney daddy?” She asks him earnestly. Craig has to stop himself from simultaneously laughing and crying, how is his daughter so perfect?“No, not even a little bit because I know you are keeping it safe,” he says, smiling.“I will always keep it safe” she promises “kiss me?”





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> HI! Not an mpreg story I know! I felt like taking the surrogacy route this time. BUT I really wanted to have a go at this topic as I have a person in my life whose life was saved by a double organ transplant from a donor. For this story Craig is a living donor as the problem his daughter has can be treated with living donation, my friend needed a cadaver donor. Thanks to this persons kind gift my friend is now alive and well with two children. I guess this is my way of saying go become an organ donor!  
I skimped over the more gross parts or in depth medical procedure things just because I was more interested in telling the story rather than dragging it all out with jargon but I tried to do as much research as possible. 
> 
> Hope you guys like it, and I'm aware I named Craig's son in a previous fic 'Asher' and this is essentially the same name but when I was looking for names meaning hope it was he only one I really liked and thought Craig and Tweek might actually go for. So I hope that's not too confusing but they are different names, spelt differently with different origins :)

"What are we going to do?" Tweek asks Craig after a long silence. Longer than long, like, the entire car ride home from the doctor's office long, the entire walk up the stairs into the apartment long. They hadn't been able to speak. Craig clutches the 28 week ultrasound of their baby in his hands. 

"I don't know" he admits, looking down at the black and white picture. 

"Is this my fault?" He asks, trying his hardest not to cry. The weight of the news they'd just received beginning to sink in.

"No, how could this be your fault?" Tweek replies, his voice barely a whisper. He moves closer to Craig and wraps an arm around him.

"The baby is mine, genetically and the doctor said it could be genetic" Craig mumbles. They'd thought his genetics were the safer option, not that there was anything wrong with Tweek's but Tweek had really pushed for the biological donor to be Craig. 

"There's no way to know that Craig, it's nobody's fault" Tweek assures him "it could even be from the surrogates side. We don't know?" 

"I just… we've been through so much just to have this baby" Craig says, struggling to find the words. They'd been so happy to find out that their surrogate was pregnant, it had been a lot of time and money and of course, stress.

"I know, but it's not anyone's fault. It just depends if we wanna take the chance and go through with this, or not" Tweek says.

Today was the 28 week scan and the news hasn't been good. They're officially in the third trimester but it's been made clear that their baby is seriously ill. Craig's still not exactly sure what it all means, but their baby's kidneys don't work. Not one, both. Their baby is unlikely to survive after birth. It's terrifying. 

"I think we should just have this baby, we already love them and maybe we'll be one of the lucky ones" Tweek suggests. Craig is surprised that Tweek is the one holding it together, but he's glad someone is. 

"Yeah… I couldn't… I couldn't  _ not  _ try" Craig chokes out. Tweek pulls him in closer.

"Let's just do whatever we can, be strong for her and give her the best chance we can" Tweek says quietly, rubbing Craig's back.

"How can we love someone we haven't met so much already?" Craig says shakily.

"I don't know babe, I guess this is just what parenting means" Tweek says solemnly.

—

Their baby is to be born via c-section. It's all planned and she'll be taken straight to the NICU to have her kidney's worked on. If she survives long enough she can eventually have a transplant further down the line. All of this feels much too far ahead, today they are just focusing on meeting her and hoping she survives her first night. 

Craig knows they may not get to hold her and that when they do get to see her she'll be in an incubator all hooked up to machines. It's going to be the hardest thing they can go through as a couple but they have to just take each moment as it comes. Their surrogate is just as devastated as they are, they've gotten to know one another through this process and she was rooting for them too. They're going to let her be as involved as she wants in terms of visits and things, it feels like the least they can do as she has been through so much for them. 

They are glad they found out her gender, and chose her name in advance. Having to decide on a name for a very sick baby as soon as she's born sounded like a nightmare. So they've chosen to name her in advance. They've gotten a whole bunch of custom things with her name, in the optimistic hope that she'll come home. 

They've decided to name her Asha Violet Tucker, her two first names meaning hope and faith. (Well the colour purple represents faith, and they thought this was less cheesier than naming her faith outright.) 

They still desperately want to meet her, even if it is only for a short while. 

Because of the acuteness of the situation the hospital have made the exception to allow both Tweek and Craig in the delivery room. Craig is so glad they don't have to fight about that because he doesn't know how they would have settled that one. 

Because everything has been planned out the atmosphere is weirdly calm, both in the preparation and the operating room. Craig's not sure he likes the calm, knowing a storm is coming but he supposes it's better than an emergency. 

The operation itself is slow, with the doctors talking clearly and casually. Craig thinks that is to put them at ease, their surrogate is being cut open after all and surely they'd at least want her calm. Craig holds her hand, he feels awful that she's going through all this for them, and Tweek holds his and squeezes hard. Craig is squeamish and can't actually look behind the sheet so he just waits and listens to the doctors. 

"Here she comes" a nurse says, both warning them as well as exciting them. 

Craig can hear her small, garbled cry and he tries to memorise every single moment. She's  _ alive.  _ She's here. 

Tweek is the closest to the doctor, so she is put in his arms first. Still all covered in blood and gunk and now crying loudly. Craig watches with tears welling before Tweek quickly hands her to him. He's only going to get a minute or two before they have to take her away. Craig tries to remember how her weight feels in his arms, the squishy features of her face and the way her cry sounds. He can't let himself forget anything. Before he knows it, she's being whisked away again and Craig is crying, missing her weight already. Tweek is crying too but he takes the initiative to pull Craig close and hold him.

"I love you" Tweek says between sobs "She's gonna fight." 

Craig has no doubt she will. 

—

Asha does fight, and hard. She survives the night and then the next and then the next. There's moments where she takes turns but she always comes back from them. She's on dialysis and is going to need a transplant before she hits double digits but she continues to get stronger every day. Well as strong as a seriously chronically ill child can be. 

They know how unlikely this outcome is and that most children in Asha's situation would have died shortly after birth. They know how very lucky they are, so even though they are frustrated and upset that they can't hold her they count their blessings.

As she grows and stabilises they are allowed to have more physical contact. Just being able to feed her a bottle and burp her feels like a privilege. At this point Craig is happy he gets moments to care for his daughter at the very least. 

She doesn't stop growing, and it becomes apparent that she may be in the minority of kids that will survive long-term. They can't predict anything but they begin preparing to take her home and what it will mean to care for her.

Dialysis is so rough on anyone, especially a young child. So she's often fatigued and frustrated but she doesn't know any better. All her life has been dialysis and hospital visits and she's still too young to really realise how different she is from regular kids. The goal is to keep her kidneys for as long as possible, with the intent to transplant at some point. 

It's hard but they make it work, up until she's three and goes into kidney failure. And they have a choice to make.

They could wait for a donor but there's no guarantee that a kidney will come up. They could test one another and those around for a match and get her a donor kidney that way. Or do nothing. 

Obviously the third option isn't happening. 

Craig doesn't like his chances waiting for a kidney, so he and Tweek both get tested. Even though Tweek isn't biologically related they figure it's better safe than sorry. The wait is agonizing, Craig doesn't know what else to do if neither are a match. He'd probably have to ask his parents and sister, then go down the line asking his friends. It seems like such an impossible thing to ask for. Even then a new kidney, if successfully transplanted without rejection might only buy her ten years so they may have to find another donor by the time she's a teenager. Kidneys aren't exactly in abundant supply. And then, lastly, there's the huge risk the operation itself poses to both the donor and recipient. Craig's heard of people dying, of people never waking up and of awful rejection stories. If he does nothing Asha will die but if they have the operation she could still die anyway. Everything is so daunting and the future is so uncertain. 

Craig knows what he has to do when the lab results come back that he is a match but Tweek is not. It's not really a decision or something he has to sleep on or think over. He knows he'd give his kidney to save his daughter, he can only hope her body accepts it and she gets the longest possible life out of it. 

—

"Are you scared about the operation?" Tweek asks Craig one evening. Asha is asleep, they try their best not to have conversations about her health and the operation when she's awake. 

"Yeah but I'm not really scared for me," Craig says. He's concerned for Asha, she's young, weak and more vulnerable. Craig thinks he'll manage, even though he is aware that its an extremely difficult operation to go through. 

"I don't wanna freak you out but it's dangerous for you too man" Tweek admits. 

"I know, but how can I not go through with this" Craig tries to explain. He could not forgive himself if he didn't take this chance out of fear. 

"No, I support you" Tweek assures "I just feel so helpless." 

"It's not your fault that you're not a match Tweek. You can't help that" Craig tries to comfort Tweek. 

"I know, I just wish I could do more to help" Tweek sighs sadly. 

"Just help us get through the recovery" Craig says with a small smile before reaching for his husbands hand. His support is all Craig needs to get through this. 

"I will, I just, I can't thank you enough, you're so selfless" Tweek replies.

"I think it was you who said to me that this is what parenting means" Craig says and leans in to kiss Tweek on the cheek. This earns a small smile from his lover. 

"Still, thank you for giving up so much when I can't" Tweek says, leaning further into Craig's side. 

They decided not to have any more kids, at least not while Asha is so ill. It didn't feel right to bring another child into the world when their lives revolve around caring for Asha. They might consider it if the transplant goes well, but at the moment it's not in the cards. 

They've tried their best to explain to Asha what is going on. It's difficult to get a three year old to understand but she knows she's sick and that this operation could make it better. 

Craig begins preparing himself for the operation. He has a strict diet to follow along with a ban on certain substances like alcohol and drugs. Anything he can do to keep his kidneys as healthy as possible and toxin free. 

It takes more time than Craig wants and he can see his daughter deteriorating. He just wants to give her his kidney now and make it all better, but he knows, deep down, that hospitals have all this prep for a reason. 

He stays with Asha in the hospital, she's hooked to the dialysis machine like always but is fast asleep. The whole dialysis process is exhausting for the patient so Craig is happy to let her sleep. He patiently waits while she rests. Tweek is at home, they take turns who stays with her while the other goes home for some sleep, showers, food, little things like that that people take for granted. Craig doesn't mind, he solves some sudoku puzzles on his phone while Asha sleeps.

He startles when she does finally wake, but only because he had got used to the whirring of the dialysis machine and the white noise of the hospital. 

“Daddy?” She says blearily, Craig snaps to attention.

“Yes baby?” He asks, leaning forward to stroke her dark hair. 

“Tired” she mumbles, hugging her pillow.

“I know, but soon you won’t need this machine anymore, you’ll have a brand new kidney that works” Craig says, trying his best to remind her that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. It’s hard seeing as she’s three, but he feels he’s got to try. 

“I’m scared,” she says, her bottom lip wobbling a little. Craig is too, but he’s the adult, so he keeps on a happy face, even if it breaks his heart to see his daughter cry. 

“About the operation?” He asks, continuing to stroke her hair. He knows she likes this, it’s soothes her on nights she’s in pain or terrified. It’s all Craig has in moments like this, touch, and love, between him and his child. 

“Uh-huh” she mumbles through some fat, wet tears.

“Well, it’s natural to be scared baby. That’s okay, but just think about how great it will be when it’s all over and you’ve got your new kidney” he reminds her “you can run around and play with all the other kids and you won’t get tired.”

“Are you scared?” She asks him, he’s a little taken aback. Unsure how honest he should be with a three year old. He’s absolutely terrified, mostly for her, he thinks he’ll be okay. 

“A little, but mostly I am excited. I can’t wait to see you happy and healthy again” he says, leaning in even further to kiss her forehead. 

“Will you hold my hand?” She asks “when I go?”

“I can’t because I have to have my operation at a different hospital, but Papa will hold your hand. He’ll be there for you the whole way and I will come and see you as soon as the doctors say I can” Craig tries his best to explain. It’s not like she has a favourite parent, she’s just being clingy towards him because he’s there. Craig realises he will be going into the operation without Tweek and while that’s a scary thought he knows Asha needs him more. His mom will wait for him in recovery. 

“Hold my hand now?” She asks, reaching her little chubby fingers towards Craig. Craig doesn’t hesitate to wrap his much larger hand around hers.

“Of course baby, I love you” he comforts. 

“Love you big” she says sleepily before drifting off again. Craig keeps his hand in hers until she, in her sleep, lets go.

—

The day of the operation Craig is weirdly calm. Maybe because he will be put under before Asha will so he won’t be there to see her potentially cry or be afraid knowing she’s about to have a procedure. Tweek is nervous, but he’s holding it together well for Asha. Craig knows Tweek desperately wishes they could trade places but you can’t change biology, Craig’s kidney was the match, not Tweeks. Instead Tweek is putting his everything into caring for Asha, knowing she won’t be in good shape when she comes out. 

Tweek will stay with her in the children’s hospital while Craig has his operation in the adults hospital in closest proximity. His mom is going to accompany him and make sure he stays calm before going in and she’ll be there for him to give updates when he comes out. Her and Tweek are going to be in constant contact. 

Craig’s biggest worry is his kidney not being able to fit, he’s an adult and she’s three. The doctors have warned them that this is a very real possibility but Craig knows that they can’t  _ not  _ take the chance. Craig knows that the operation he’s going to have will hurt, his body is going to have to learn how to survive on one kidney but for him it’s all worth it. Maybe he was lucky to have known she was going to be ill before she was even born but for him, this is what he signed up for when they decided to have a baby. 

The worst part is when Craig goes in, having to separate himself from Asha and Tweek. Asha cries when he goes because she  _ knows.  _ He hates that they’ll be apart for the foreseeable future too, that Craig won’t be there to cuddle and kiss her at her most vulnerable. But he trusts Tweek, Tweek is the only person he would ever, ever want to co-parent with and he believes in Tweeks parenting completely. 

Craig is calm when he goes under, he’s accepted his fate. 

When he comes out Ashas operation has already begun. Craig is too drugged and groggy to know this, but when he comes around properly it’s the first thing he asks about.

“It’s still going” his mom says “her operation is gonna take a lot longer to be finished.”

He’s is a lot of pain, and the anaesthetic is making him nauseous but otherwise he has come out mostly okay, like he had expected. All he can do is wait for news and wait for he himself to heal. The doctors tell him he can’t go see Asha for at least four to six days, that’s even if she’s up to it herself. It’s an awful position to be in, being in a whole other hospital separate from where his daughter is having life saving surgery. 

“It hurts” he says “but I don’t regret it.”

“I’m proud of you” his mom replies, squeezing his hand “not everyone could be so brave.”

Craig disagrees. He thinks any parent would do this for their child, surely.

Asha’s operation goes well into the night and Craig loses track of the hours. Tweek FaceTimes him a few times, mostly to check up on him but also distract himself from the awful waiting. 

“It’s normal” Craig mumbles to Tweek over the screen “the actual transplant takes hours.”

“I know but she’s so  _ small  _ Craig. I hate this” he vents. He looks so tired. Craig is sure he probably looks worse but the drugs have him not caring so much. 

“She’s come this far” Craig says “she’s gonna keep going.”

Craig is actually asleep when his mom gets the news. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, especially not at a time like this but with all the drugs in his system it was hard not to. His mom is kind and wakes him gently so as not to cause more pain. 

“She’s out” she says with a smile “doing as well as could be expected.”

“The kidney fit?” Craig mumbles.

“I guess so” she says, “Tweek is over the moon. He said she’s in a lot of pain and is extremely groggy and upset but he’s there for her.”

“When can I go over there?” Craig asks.

“Honey, it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet,” she says, “you’re gonna have to wait a little while longer.

Craig wakes up ecstatic that morning, knowing his daughter survived the operation and so far the transplant has been a success. He’s still in pain, but it seems so minuscule in the scheme of things. 

Tweek has sent him a few message updates but he hasn’t put her on to FaceTime. He says she’s not up to it, which Craig thinks is fair enough. He desperately wants to see her, but not if it will stress her out more. She’s doing well considering, the pain and distress is to be expected when such a young child is recovering from such a major operation. 

Craig can’t wait for the future, assuming her body doesn’t reject his kidney. He’s excited for the times when she can run and play like a normal kid. When she isn’t exhausted from dialysis and she can just enjoy things healthy people take for granted. He knows recovery is long and arduous but he looks forward to the afterwards. When they can do things as a family, with her healthy.

—

Craig is discharged at 5 days post op. He’s had a brief FaceTime conversation with Asha but that mainly consisted of him telling her how brave she is and her nodding. Craig is desperate to see her in person. 

Tweek had been in to see him briefly, he and Craig’s mom had swapped posts for an hour or so. And it was nice to kiss his husband however brief, but he understands that Asha needs Tweek more than he does. So for Craig he’s been deprived of both his husband and daughter, and he cannot wait to get out of this hospital and reunite with them. 

They’re going straight to the children’s hospital. There’s no going home first, no having a nap or a shower. Craig is not losing a second, he’s much better, even if his belly is still tender form the operation. The doctors think he is healing up well and will continue to do well. All Craig cares about is their approval to leave. 

Both hospitals became familiar places for Craig but the children’s hospital will always be the most familiar. They’ve spent the better part of the last three years here and Craig knows his way around like the back of his hand. He knows where her room is, even if he hasn’t been there yet. He knows the ward, the hallways and a good deal of the other parents of long-term patients. It doesn’t take him long to find his daughter at all. Being a parent, he has permission to visit. He can barely contain the warmth rising in his chest as he enters the room. Tweek beams as he nudges Asha lightly.

“Daddy’s here” he says.

“Daddy” she says, she sounds groggy but otherwise okay. Craig rushes to her bedside as quickly as he can.

“I’ve been missing you” he says, reaching for her hand. He wants to kiss her but he’s not sure how bad her pain is, so he doesn’t smother her with affection like he’d like to. That can wait for when she’s better. 

She squeezes his hand very gently “missed you too daddy.”

“She’s been asking me when you could come” Tweek says with a grin “she’s sick of Papa.”

“Am not!” She protests “I want both.”

“Well I’m here now” he says “you’re such a brave girl.”

“Do you miss your kidney daddy?” She asks him earnestly. Craig has to stop himself from simultaneously laughing and crying, how is his daughter so perfect?

“No, not even a little bit because I know you are keeping it safe,” he says, smiling. 

“I will always keep it safe” she promises “kiss me?”

Craig doesn’t have to be asked twice, he leans down and gently kisses her forehead. 

“What do you want to do when you’re feeling better?” Craig asks Asha, he brushes a few stray hairs from her eyes.

“Ice cream” she says “all three of us together.”

“I promise you we will do that” Tweek tells her “as soon as you’re out of here and the doctors say it’s okay. Any flavour you want.”

“Rainbow” she says sleepily “I want rainbow.”

—

Craig loves to think that Asha is ‘keeping his kidney safe.’ While Craig himself isn’t really hindered by the loss of his kidney, he has to be a bit more careful about what he eats and what physical activity he does. But for him it’s barely a loss, he gained so much more.

So far Asha hasn’t rejected the organ and both he and Tweek are hoping to get as long as they can from it. Maybe ten years if they’re lucky. She’ll probably have to have another transplant before she hits adulthood but this isn’t uncommon for the few kids born with her condition who actually survive. Craig and Tweek will do whatever they can to keep her healthy. 

Tweek always makes a big deal about how selfless it was of Craig to give up his organ, but Craig knows Tweek would do exactly the same. Tweek  _ will  _ do exactly the same if he ends up being the best match next time she needs a transplant. It’s unlikely that he will have to, because Craig has family who would help but still, Craig knows Tweek  _ would.  _ And that matters a lot to him. 

Craig is still floored that she’s here, filling his house with laughter and light. They still have all the custom things they got made with her name from when she was a baby. When Craig thinks about it statistically she shouldn’t be here. But she is, she’s very much here and very much taking her second (third?) chance at life very seriously. She’s very active, she has lots of friends her own age. Some are other donor recipients from the hospital that she essentially grew up with and others are friends from school. Because she’s healthy enough to go. Another milestone Craig wasn’t sure they’d see. 

So Craig may be down one kidney, but he couldn’t think of a better human being to keep it safe. 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
